Read my mind now, Grey!

Or, like me, you could simply go around, business as usual, in pants and a T-shirt. Weet-bix and coffee for breakfast. Morning showers. Brush your teeth. They’ll never find you.

Not surprisingly, the three most famous alien abduction cases happened in the American wilderness…

Three Famous Cases

The Allergash Abductions

The Allergash Waterway (in the wilderness)

Back in 1976, two brothers and a couple of friends went fishing. On the way to Allergash, they saw a strange light in the sky, but thought nothing of it. When they proceeded to boat out onto the dark waters, the light re-appeared some meters away. One of them men had a brilliant idea. He signaled S.O.S. to the UFO with his torch and all of a sudden, they floated into a UFO where they were forced to strip naked and take turns watching their friends being experimented on.
(read more here)

Fire In the Sky

Perhaps the scariest case of all, (and the most sold book – now a famous B-movie “Fire In the Sky”) is the one where Travis Walton sees an alien spaceship while out in the wilderness (take note potential abductees) with friends. Unlike his wise friends who hid behind bushes and rocks, Travis ran over to touch the mysterious craft. Not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth – the nasty little Greys took him and he was declared missing for days.
(Travis has his own site here) It’s very well-written too, I might add.

Betty & Barney Hill

Betty & Barney Hill

Last but not least (and in fact possibly the first recorded alien abduction case). God Bless their little cotton socks.

The most famous abduction of all is that of Barney & Betty Hill. John G. Fuller’s “The Interrupted Journey,” is a transcription of the entire event as revealed by Betty and Barney during several independent hypnosis sessions. Their UFO experiences were quite different. Betty had quite a pleasant time. While the Aliens politely showed Betty some of their technology, presented a 3D star map of their location and did all but make her a cup of tea, Barney was thoroughly abused and experimented on (against his will) in the next room. He’s still not quite convinced that he was abducted as he kept his eyes closed during the event.
(read more on Wikipedia here)

So it’s not all beer and skittles inside a UFO. In most recorded abduction cases, people are mind-controlled, experimented on, left with implants and their entire memory erased against their will. Some abductees think it happens over and over. Even resorting to expensive full body scans to find and then remove implants.

On the face of it, it’s not that easy to get abducted. But it seems quite possible. You’ll need to take a few things with you.

• a place where UFOs are regularly spotted
• a torch
• a mind-control helmet (if you want to stay safe)
• easy to remove clothing.
• a GPS
• Some kind of audio recording device (or button camera?)

Let us know if you plan to get abducted and we’ll BLOG about it for ya. However, if you’re found out in a paddock butt-naked, flashing S.O.S. with a torch and wearing a mind control helmet – we’ll call you, okay?

The Australian Angle

Our US friends aren’t the only ones who allow themselves to be puppeted by our not-so-friendly Grey brethren . . .

I thought this episode was most convincing, but if you’re keen:

• Episode 1 on Youtube
• Episode 2 on Youtube

If you’re still convinced that alien abduction is for you, maybe you can view the following film as a kind of US travelogue . . .

Alien Hotspots

Remember to take some kind of hidden camera or recording device with you when you go bush or visit Roswell. There’s nothing worse than returning back to Earth with a bunch of weird and wonderful stories. People might think you’re a crackpot. Or at best, some kind of exhibitionist who didn’t get the right sort of attention as a child.

Happy camping!

Then go out and get some Sun. We need Vitamin A.

The Story So Far . . .

It seems the Greys and the Reptilians are baddies. The US Military snubbed the Nordics (who wanted to announce their presence and needed diplomatic assistance) and did a deal with the Greys because the Nords wouldn’t freely part with their technology. Neil Armstrong was told to piss off by aliens on the moon and every single Apollo mission was closely shadowed by UFOs driven by intelligent beings.

Some say the Greys hail from a hollowed out part of the North Pole

Luckily for us, the beautiful (7 foot plus) Nordics (who are flanked by perfectly formed human assistants and are the most advanced of all the 300 or so alien races NASA and the military have catalogued) are on their way here and they’ve told the US Government / Majestic 12 and the Freemasons to let the religious leaders of the world know of their imminent arrival. So as not to upset us. They’re 30 light years away and left about 3 years ago at Warp 5. The Nordic fleet will get here in 2013 to welcome us into the galactic family with or without US Military assistance.

Now all this sounds like a big fat crock of shit, right? . . . RIIIIIGHT?

Well, there’s an awful lot of smoke. I’ve read the whole Roswell thing – including actual 1947 newspaper clippings which went on about a crashed saucer and I’ve triangulated stories told by different people about the same event/s. Basically, it all seems to add up. Thank Jesus the Great (and possibly back-engineered Alien technology) for the internet. Without it, I’d be the proverbial blind man in his coal cellar hunting around for Sooty the cat.

Now I know the following things . . .

• There are alien bases on the dark side of the moon
• Many planets probably have them but NASA blurs the photos
• There are hundreds of species of super-stealthy Aliens who visit us regularly
• People are abducted and tracked by UFOs and Aliens (probably Greys)
• Aliens are probably neither friendly nor aggressive by nature
• UFOs like to hang around water

. . . I feel privileged.

I’m going to let you do the research, but because I know you’re keen to start now, I’m giving you something to set you off. I looked up the infamous STS-115 Space shuttle mission on the NASA archives website and the third picture of only about 8 pictures there, was this one…

I’m not going to give this the grace of analysis. I mean for God’s sake. This is clearly a space dolphin (click pic for a hi-rez version).

Here’s a 10 minute video of the STS115 mission just to contextualise what you are looking at. Now remember that these things are fast. Often faster than a camera shutter. It’s amazing stuff if you believe it.

We’re in trouble people. 2013. Hopefully we won’t be annihilated by an asteroid in 2012 like the Mayans predicted. I wanna see the Nordics and their little Nordic kids. We can all hold space hands together.

Synergy is built around servicing the client. Or, rather, it ought to be. Their function is actually to take money for Electricity and pass it on to Western Power. They don’t provide a tangible service, but do take a big cut.

Once every few months, a Western Power representative will come around to your house and read your electricity meter. The reading is passed on to Synergy who add value by sending you a bill or fielding your complaint. After Telstra, they are probably the worst service company I’ve ever experienced (one of the best is Iinet by the way, but more about them another time). When Telstra is up there going for gold in the stupid company olympics, Synergy are right beside them with silver. Try as they might, they just can’t beat Australia’s mighty Telco to the podium. It’s a very sad state of affairs. Large Australian companies acting like three year old babies.

And it makes me angry.

My Synergy Tale

I moved into a new house last year, paid Synergy what was owing on the last electricity bill and settled in. Put my feet up, read the newspaper, arranged the furniture etc.

Three months later, I get a bill in the mail. Mail redirection working – that’s good.

Synergy sent me an estimate, based on 1.5 units consumption per day. A total of $420. But they hadn’t read the meter. It was an estimate. “Hm. Seems a bit expensive,” thought I. I often sit at home in the dark, building websites on my computer. Sometimes late into the night. I love my job. All my bulbs are 10 watt, energy efficient globes. “I’ll get around to checking that wayward bill next week”.

Three days later, I receive an additional estimate from Synergy. This time, the estimate was based on 8.5 units consumption per day and the bill was for an extra $100. That’s the equivalent to a jackhammer running 24/7 full steam whilst chickens roast in an electric oven day and night.

I called Synergy to query the two completely different estimates and asked them to explain the wildly different estimates. They told me I had to pay the $520 total OR I’d be put on a bad debts register. The assistant basically threatened legal action should I refuse to pay the bill. Ugh! Borrrring.

I went and read the meter myself, calculating the total bill at a modest $180. Which I promptly paid into their account before calling them back.

We’re sorry but your meter has to be read by a Western Power representative. We’ll hold off on the deadline for your estimated bill if you pay and additional $20 fee to have Western Power come and read your meter. Either pay the $20 OR $520 – the extra money will be credited to your electricity account. Up to you.

Very angry. I was the one who had to pay for their mistake.

Twenty bucks later, a Western Power man came, read the meter and sent his number in to Synergy. It turns out I’d under-estimated the charge by ten dollars. I put another $20 into their account and started searching for the Electricity Ombudsman.

Two days ago, I got a bill for a late payment fine. Brilliant. Watch out Telstra, your gold medal is in jeopardy.

How to Complain about Synergy WA

I’ve already lodged my complaint with the State Energy Ombudsman. I suggest you do the same because I’m betting, seeing as how we’re all creatures of habit, that you’ve had a similar experience with Synergy recently. If you have had weird dealings with them, please let me know in the comments.

The business use PayPal and I bought 15 T-shirts from them in October last year. About one week before the PayPal dispute resolution cut-off date (when you can complain to PayPal about not receiving your goods) they contact you to say the product has returned to base with a mail address error. They do this so that it will be too late to open a PayPal Dispute and get your money back.

I complained about them (as they don’t return emails) to The Australian ACCC. You can make a complaint about an Australian company here but not US companies. This is the letter I received in reply.

Dear Mr Lynch,

Thank you for your email of 9 February 2010 to the Australian Competition & Consumer Commission (ACCC) concerning the goods you ordered from Can’t Afford Em Buttons.

By way of background, www.scamwatch.gov.au is a website owned and maintained by the ACCC. The role of the ACCC is to ensure compliance with the Trade Practices Act 1974 (TPA), which is designed to encourage fair trading and discourage anti-competitive conduct through a specific set of competition and consumer protection rules in Australia.

Generally speaking, the TPA applies to corporations trading in Australia. Whether CAE Buttons is considered to be operating in Australia is ultimately a question to be determined by a court. It is not the role of the ACCC to provide legal advice.

However, it would appear that Can’t Afford Em Buttons is situated in the United States which means that the company may not be subject to the operation of the TPA. While the ACCC may not have jurisdiction to act on a particular matter, the information may be transmitted to the appropriate international authorities if necessary.

As this Can’t Afford Em Buttons is situated in the United States we would advise that you contact the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) to see if they are able to assist you. You can visit their website at www.ftc.gov.

The information you have provided and other complaints received through our SCAMwatch website greatly assists us to monitor scam trends and take action where appropriate. The analysis of this information also enables the development of targeted educational campaigns and provides valuable information for the ACCC’s ongoing cooperation efforts with other government agencies.

Thank you for contacting the ACCC with your inquiry.

Yours sincerely,

Fraser
ACCC Infocentre
Ph: 1300 302 502

This company has been registered with the ACCC Scamwatch anyway and both the US-based Federal Trade Commission and Better Business Bureau.

The internet is getting better in terms of online scam reporting.

STOP PRESS
Can’t Afford Em have recently agreed to send through the T-shirts I ordered. When they arrive, I’ll be happy to remove this post and withdraw my complaints.

And it’s not alone – this wayward traveler. It has over 2 million friends.

When I heard about AL, I experienced a kind of wild excitement. I wanted it to be a UFO. Ever since I was a little boy, when things weren’t going well for me, I always imagined I would be whisked by Aliens to far off planets. The beings there would teach me new and amazing things about the universe, our place in it and possibly even reveal the existence and whereabouts of God.

When I eventually read the Barney and Betty Hill abduction story (in “The Interrupted Journey”) I was 15 and a little jealous. They got to ride in a spaceship. A 30 foot spaceship – much like 2010 AL30. Maybe it’s not a meteor, space junk or just a wayward rock. Maybe it’s a dead spaceship.

Like many of our Solar System’s most tantalizing “co-incidences” :

• The moon is almost perfectly covers the sun during a solar eclipse
• The dark side of the moon always faces away from us (this is actually because the heavier elements in the moon have fallen Earthside).
• A human female’s menstrual cycle matches the phases of the moon.
• Our planet is situated in the perfect location for life on Earth.

Might AL be a dead ship caught in the flotsam and jetsom that floats between Earth and the Sun? Perhaps it’s a container like the one in Clarke’s “Rendezvous with Rama?” I’m kinda hoping it’s something interesting. It’s getting a bit boring down here, Guys. Can you give us a show or something?