Do the dead visit us in dreams?
It’s hard when someone close to you – who has recently died – appears in a dream. They stand out. It’s as if they don’t belong. It’s as if they are using the dream to pay the living a visit.
In a dream I had the other night, I was visiting a friend. As I approached his flat, down the hallway and off to one side a little was Dad. He was in his hospital bed and was so pleased to see me. He asked me where I was going. “To visit a friend. He lives just down this hall.” Then Dad asked me to get into bed and curl up with him. I did. I got in and immediately spooned into him, giving him a big hug. He was so warm. I could feel the sweat on his back. “Oh it’s so good to see you again,” he said as I curled up to him. It was an affection we never shared when he was living. In this dream, in all dreams about Dad, I experience a physical closeness.
It would be a strange thing to do in real life, but Dad is dead and, dare I say, we both miss each other.
I got out of bed to go visit the dream friend. When I returned, Dad was out cold – on morphine attended by two male nurses. They were chanign his soiled sheets – rolling his prostrate body to one side in that official hospital way.
When I think of Dad being dead, I get scared. My whole body says, “Nooo. Oh, no! It would be too horrible if he were to die.” But he’s gone. And that’s that unfortunately.
