Just Do It.
Just got off the phone to Mum. Sue (my sister) and Dan (bro in law) take the kids around to her place every day for dinner. But Mum’s really missing Dad. She’s busying herself with paying bills – and getting things done around the house.
I don’t quite get how this works. We get born, we grow up and then we die. There doesn’t seem to be that much to it. In Mum’s case, she did things with Dad all the time. Some people live separate lives, but Mum and Dad did things together. And she misses him so much. It’s clearly like they say – a limb has been torn off. And yet – we must press on. Or see psychologists if we feel we can’t…
I’m not dead sure how I’m dealing with this myself. It’ like he’s totally gone missing. And yet I’m here – feverishly working – writing scripts, making films and now learning about music. There’s a kind of “Oh, that’s right. There’s a time limit to all this.” Like I’ve become suddenly selfish about my life. Trying to squeeze as much creativity into the time I have left. For what? To leave something in the world? Why? Who cares? Really? I mean who cares about what I do?
I do, I suppose. And I guess – that’s the point. Just live!
Seeing death, for me, has arrested any sense of procrastination. The fact that it was my Father’s death leaves me puzzled. Why did he die? The uncomfortable answer seems to be – so that I can live on.
